Dreaming Wide Awake
by Tettekete
Summary: "It's simple, really. I don't dream, and I have no desire to." Oneshot.


**Author's Note: What started as a paragraph for the next chapter of my ongoing fic turned into this oneshot. Enjoy!**

* * *

"You don't _dream_?"

Galinda lay propped up against her pile of satin covered pillows, mouth wide open and hands pressed to her rosy cheeks.

"Exactly." Dark eyes glanced uneasily at the blonde from the desk beneath the window, magnified slightly by the glasses set in front of them. "It's simple, really. And I have no desire to."

The blonde sat up all of a sudden, claiming that it was impossible and that every human being had dreams, had nightmares - it was sciencifyingly true! Elphaba rolled her eyes, and took a book from the stack beside her.

The topic of dreams had been absentmindedly brought up when Galinda began to torment Elphaba, distracting her from her studies by loudly regaling her with tales of ponies and castles and Oz only knew what else. Elphaba had tuned her out by then - a talent that she had been developing ever since arriving at Shiz - and told her simply: She didn't dream, and enough was enough.

Galinda pouted (with all the elegance of a dead fish, in Elphaba's view) and flopped backwards on her bed in an overdramatic display of flailing legs and light pink ruffles. "That's ridiculous! Everyone dreams, you silly thing, even people as green as you."

"Then believe what you must, and let me read in peace."

Indignation. Amusingly crinkled lines above furrowed plucked eyebrows. "What are you reading exactly, Miss Elphaba?" Galinda shuffled around, purposefully making as much noise as she possibly could. "One book can't be that interesting!"

Elphaba let out a quick sigh, a short breath through her nostrils. "It may surprise you to learn that I don't read the same thing over and over again. And it's a Life Sciences textbook," she hissed lightly, punctuating her point by thrusting the book toward Galinda. "One that you should recognise. Some of us actually take our studies seriously."

"Well! You're no fun, are you?"

"Fun is not something I usually bother myself with, Miss Galinda. Now can I suggest you settle down? Good _night_."

* * *

As the room stilled in silence, and Galinda's incessant noise tapered off into a soft snore, Elphaba pushed up her glasses and began to read. Or rather, forced herself to take in the writing on the page in front of her as Galinda's endless statements and questions repeatedly bounced around in her head, getting progressively more high pitched and irritating.

Minutes turned into hours, and eventually Elphaba felt her eyes becoming heavier, her head feeling fuzzier. Hesitantly she readied herself, and slipped under her thin blankets.

Hah, _dreams_.

What she had told Galinda had been fact, but the truth of it was that Elphaba was uncertain if her dreamlessness was a result of her colouring and lack of a soul, being written off as sinful by her Father, or something psychological; something she had repressed. It did not matter - she did not matter.

But there was something. Something from years ago that had, once upon a time, mattered.

It was not a dream, and she had no wish for it to ever become one.

_She had stared ahead, eyes fixed on the sight of little Nessarose skidding to a halt in the doorway, the wheels of her brand new wheelchair making muddy tracks on the wooden floor by several steps that lead into the pantry- she was still unused to it. It was the first time Frex had let her out of his sight with the monstrous thing, to boost her confidence in getting around. But ever so slowly, she tipped - toppling sideways and bringing the entire chair crashing down the steps with her. The look of terror on the young Thropp's face as she fell seared itself into the backs of Elphaba's eyelids. The memory would resurface for weeks in short flashes, although still she didn't dream._.

This was as close to a recurring nightmare as her eight-year-old self had ever experienced. Her subconscious would always make an exception for Nessarose, she decided, as she gave in to a peaceful, dreamless slumber.


End file.
